


There has to be a way

by Cat221b



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everything Hurts, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 13:07:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16577093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat221b/pseuds/Cat221b
Summary: So... What did Asmodeus really want? What was the deal actually about...Inspired by sneak peek of season 3B. Just a little idea of what could have happened before that scene.





	There has to be a way

**Author's Note:**

> Title is awful, I know.  
> So I haven't written anything for ages and never to this fandom, so.. Hello, I'm here, please be gentle :) 
> 
> There might be tense mistakes or spelling errors, feel free to point them out :)  
> This is inspired by that sneak peek they gave us, I watched it and they both looked so off... Aside from the obvious reasons, there seemed to be something hidden. So my mind went wandering and this is what came out.

"Alexander..." Magnus sighed and averted his eyes. He didn't even know how to spell it out. Warlock rose from Alec's bedside and walked to the window to look out of it. He felt hazel eyes on him and he was scared to turn around. It felt like he stood there for ages, before he heard small voice behind him: "Magnus... Please tell me. Please tell me what it cost for you. I know there's something else, something even worse than losing your magic."  
  
Older man felt his eyes prickling and squeezed his hand in the fist, before composing himself and turning around with what he hoped was assuring smile.  
"There's nothing you have to worry about. You have to rest and heal, don't burden yourself with such heavy thoughts."  
  
Sheets were thrown away and Alec slowly rose from the bed. When he straightened himself, there was a small flinch and his hand flew to the white bandage. Magnus took few quicker steps to help him, but taller man put his hand up to stop the motion. So warlock just stood there, not knowing how to help. Because when Alec stood, it felt like he put walls up with it.  
"Please sit down."  
  
"No, Magnus. No. Because I know something is wrong. I know it and we have been there and we have talked about not shutting each other out. I trust you to tell me when you're ready, but Magnus..." Alec's voice cracked and brown eyes met hazel "I have this feeling and I'm scared. I have not been that scared ever. Not when I thought you died, not when you went to Edom. I know something bad is going to happen and I know you know what it is..."  
  
At that moment all Magnus wanted to do was to hold him, to let him know that he's wrong. But he couldn't. Because Alec was right, Magnus knew what's going to happen and he knew it will break the young shadowhunter standing in front of him. He also knew there's nothing he can do to fix this. So he took a deep breath and decided to tell the truth.  
"Alexander," he raised his eyes again and saw Alec bracing himself, like younger man knew that what was about to be said will change something for them and for one second warlock thought of changing his mind. But then he continued. "When I came back... You know about the deal, that I gave away my magic... But that's not the whole deal... With my magic goes my immortality... Which means I'm mortal now. But my body is centuries old..."  
  
Warlock couldn't look at his boyfriend, he closed his eyes and tried to compose himself. Suddenly he felt a trembling hand on his cheek and leaned into it.  
"Magnus... What are you saying?" Alec's voice sounded like he had been crying since Magnus started talking.  
  
"Asmodeus was kind..." It sounded so wrong to his ears. "He told me I have a month to tie up loose ends and..." He didn't need to spell it out, he knew Alec understood. Hand fell from his cheek and shadowhunter mode was activated. "No... No. We will do something. We'll figure it out, Magnus. There must be a way!"  
Named man looked at his lover and shook his head, so that all fire that had started to rise in younger man's eyes burnt out.  
"There isn't."  
  
Just like that Alec felt like he was stabbed again. Only somehow it hurt even more. His knees buckled and he didn't find anything to support himself with, so he just went down. Strong arms caught him though before hitting the floor. He could sense Magnus, but he felt like he was blinded, everything was so blurry and faded. Moment later he realized that he's crying, holding on to Magnus and repeating no all over.

When he opened his eyes again they were lying in the bed, having no recollection of how they got there. His head was on Magnus's chest and man was gently running his fingers through Alec's hair. Maybe if they pretend this never happened, if they just lay there and ignore everything, it will be better...  
  
Warlock's hand stopped and Alec realized that he must have said it out loud. He felt a kiss being pressed on his head and then voice: "I wish it would be that easy."  
"But we can't just be here, waiting until-... Until you-..." Alec couldn't make himself say it. Saying it would be admitting it's real and he refused to believe it's real.  
Magnus moved so that he could meet his eyes. "I have never wanted anything more to have a life with you. Asmodeus gave me this chance. It may last only a month, but it's what we have. Let's just... Make the most of it."  
  
"How can you be so okay with it! How does it not affect you!?" Alec felt anger rising. He knew it was unfair, but how could Magnus not feel the same despair he felt at the moment. How did the other seem so calm and collected.  
  
Older man flinched and then sighed: "Alexander... When I think about losing you, every fiber of me is in agony. When I came back and saw you laying on the ground with arrow sticking out of you, I was so afraid. I was afraid that I can't kiss you, can't tell you how much I love you, can't say goodbye... We have that chance now.  
It affects me more than you think. I have always had so much time - I was immortal. But now my time is running out. I always knew this would happen, I just never thought I have to leave one person I truly love. And this terrifies me."  
  
Tears had appeared in Alec's eyes again and Magnus took both of his hands: "I love you, Alexander. And I don't want to spend our last month fighting with each other."  
So Alec made a decision. "I love you too." he whispered and closed his eyes when Magnus's lips gently touched his. He won't give up on this, but he'll also try give Magnus all he asks.

\-----------------

Few moments after waking up, Alec felt good. But then memories from last few days were flooding back and he clutched his chest with his hand. He felt like someone pulled floor away from him and he was freefalling. His emotions were mixing with his parabatais and for a moment he felt like he's going to pass out, but then he heard steps.

Magnus stepped in the room carrying a tray of what seemed to be a breakfast. Alec blinked and tried to banish his pain from his face.  
"Is today a special occasion?"  
  
Warlock sat and pushed tray towards Alec: "It's your day off. And I want to make the most of it."  
  
Younger man felt pain when he looked his boyfriend. Magnus's face didn't give anything away, but he hadn't painted his nails and Alec didn't think he had ever seen the warlock without it. _He's in pain... But he hides it..._  Feeling like suffocating, Alec tried to smile, which probably didn't look like smile at all, but he had to show Magnus somehow that he's trying and said: "That's actually really sweet."  
  
Older man smiled and nodded, so Alec turned back to the tray. _I will find a way.._


End file.
